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AWOL

October 4, 2009
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Yeah, I know, I have not posted in awhile, though did you know that I have written 239 posts since I began in April ’07?  Pretty impressive if you ask me 🙂

I’ve been having a little trouble since returning home from the past trip.  It could be just the cumulative effects of so much travel after a big move….. I’ve been exhausted and sick and tired of the whole canSer thing.    Gathering resources and resting the best I can while still trying to manage running the household , and trying to think of , and plan for a new house building project is what I have been doing.  It has always been the case that I need lots and lots of space to think and just be.  Sometimes, all the energy I have is used up just doing the routine tasks of everyday living, and that leaves little resources for special projects and emotional work, which don’t exactly go away… the thoughts linger and nag in the margins and don’t let me rest though I do not have the energy for them.

I have read that people who have been through canSer diagnosis and treatment  are left with Post Traumatic Stress issues.  I totally believe that.  My whole spiritual, emotional,  mental, and physical being tipped on it’s axis when the doctor told me (on the phone… omg), that I had a sickness that could kill me, and the effects of that moment linger.  Of course, nearly everybody, someday, gets the thing that will kill them.  It’s just that most people get to live in the denial of that.  I try to do that too 🙂  It gives me a rest from the relentless pressure of trying to outrun this thing.

Anyway, this is part of what has been going on this past couple of weeks.  If you are praying, please do for my ability to eat well, juice everyday (sadly failing at the moment), exercise, continue with social networking and making new friends here, along with other music goals such as sight reading and piano playing and singing, and knitting groups and classes.  The list of my goals is longer than this.  These are just the ones that float to mind first.

Fall is here!  The leaves are turning and the days are getting shorter.  I celebrated equinox a couple of weeks ago and now plunge forward into the deep waters of fall into winter and on to the solstice.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Colleen permalink
    October 5, 2009 2:23 pm

    Hi Aunt Liz,
    I wanted to check in and let you know that Joe,Lily and I have been praying for you everynight before bed. We missed seeing you at Adam’s wedding! I hope you are getting some rest. I have learnrd everything else can wait.

  2. October 5, 2009 8:54 pm

    Hey Colleen! Good point, and words of wisdom… thanks … and I missed seeing you, too!

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