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Write…Now

March 18, 2008
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I’ve been staring at this computer now for the last week…It has been one heck of a challenging week. I’m in the midst of coming to terms with some rather painful realities and stuff that I need to deal with and change. I’m a bit torn about writing about it…after all, people I actually KNOW read this! I’m reading more blogs now…some writers are very candid…I keep thinking does your mother read this? Maybe not…

Anyway, while I deal with those questions…I can fill you in on the news of the week…physical therapy is going pretty well. When I get completely overwhelmed it can be difficult to do exercises. I’m pretty good at remembering posture and working some back muscles. I think I’m improving! Janet, my favorite physical therapist, has begun to also work on the scar tissue on my breast. (Hi, Janet, if you are reading this 🙂 ) There is a lot of it. I have been having therapeutic massage for the past few months on the scar tissue (and some just for relaxation!). Janet is doing additional massage, I think this is helping my breast regain a more natural shape. There is a crease of tissue at the nipple. I know that if the tissue, which is stuck down by scar tissue, releases, the crease may go away. Oh happy day!

This past week has been most difficult because my father has been in the hospital with a MRSA infection in his bladder. Of course, the infection spread to the blood stream, and he has been very sick. I thought, after speaking with my mother over the course of the past few weeks, that she was sounding pretty tired. After all, who wouldn’t be…..more than a few late nights at the emergency room, and the stress of seeing a husband failing as he is right now….I’m quite sure that my mother did no less than save his life in the past week by insisting that he be brought to the hospital, and jumping over protocol at the nursing facility to do so. In her determined and quite way, without yelling, yet making her point clear, she helped remove the nurse who had not been willing to see that the condition of my father had deteriorated to life threatening status.

Anyway, though I know that I cannot go anywhere near a MRSA infection with my run-down immune system, I thought I would go home to offer some domestic support, and some company to my mother so that she could rest and not have to worry about cooking and shopping and cleaning. I consider it the least I can do. Well… my mother swiped the mommy card on me and absolutely forbid me to come home! While the possibility of carrying the MRSA bacteria home is remote, the worry about anything happening to me would have created an additional burden of worry for her. Not worth it!

All of this excitement and worry completely exhausted me. Just when I think I have some extra energy…I realize that I really don’t have much. I had to take a giant step back from everything. That even included a concert which I was supposed to sing last Saturday. Everyone who has followed this blog from the beginning , last spring, knows my passion for the music that I am singing. I have moved heaven and earth over the past year to continue to sing…This past week I was afraid that if I pushed to do the rehearsals and hours required to sing a work as long as the Bach St. Matthew Passion, I would get seriously sick. I was sad to miss the concert on Saturday. I just really needed to listen to the alarm my body set off about the stress of the week.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. MOM permalink
    March 18, 2008 7:42 pm

    Sweet Liz–I can only imagine how tired you must have been if you actually missed a chance to sing the Bach. I am so very happy that you didn’t add the stress of a drive to NJ to all that you are trying to carry right now. Obviously, you are worrying about us now as well as trying to orient yourself to a new lifestyle. You have come too far to jeopardize all the progress you have made. Dad is improving and caring for him is easy as long as I know all is well with my children. Your job now is to make your body well and strong and ready to live the wonderful new life you and Tim will share in Oberlin.
    I carry you always in my heart.
    Mom

  2. Dean Gray permalink
    March 21, 2008 9:16 am

    Hi Liz,

    I’ll be praying for your mom and dad. Sounds like a difficult time.

    — Dean

  3. March 21, 2008 9:31 am

    Thanks, Dean…My father is out of hospital and seems to be feeling better.

  4. Martha permalink
    March 21, 2008 10:39 am

    Liz,

    It is Good Friday! I hope it is a time of recuperation and reflection. So glad your father is ou of the hospital. May your Easter Day be bright and healing.

    Martha

  5. March 21, 2008 4:13 pm

    Yeah! I just love Easter! Thanks for the note. I still want to go to the school concert at the beginning of April. I’m not sure I will be able to find the note with the dates and times. If you get the chance, would you send me an email to refresh my memory? See you then.
    Liz

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